For Some

For some it comes with perpetual pain
With no sight of hopeful peace or gain

For some it comes with wisdom attained from age
Infinite free smiles before an unmaksed hidden rage

For some it comes with unconditional love
In mute exchanges of the emotional glove

For some it comes with blinding rest and sleep
Of private dreams pandering to the social heap

For some it comes with a six-string bending
Immolated souls in musical notes ascending

For some it comes within illusions of themselves
Narcissistic cries for attention in humanity’s fake encalves

For some it comes naturally
All facets of life faced gladly

For me it comes from my personal secretive yores & folklores
These eyes I’ve been gifted with will always see behind yours

I refuse your excuse

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Pit

Deep,

That’s what it was

Like a black & white movie

With no white

Bottomless, endless vertical

Spiral of darkness

Moist, moss massacred

Stone stairway deep

Deep down doomed

Fear follows visual sensory registration

A movement inside

Of something wearing a black hide

Pitch black lack

My eyes slack

Hand outward

Me inward

Circus of Realms

Hey! You there with the mask & cloak! You right there!
I see you’re going somewhere, may I ask you where?

To a goal fueled by ambition? You don’t say
Why? What’s wrong with your current stay?

The lights are getting dim, you’re stuck in a loop
And you’re unable to stimulate your mind in it’s coop?

Is it really all that bad a thing though?
To feed the machine and earn your dough?

It is you say? How very very strange
And that justifies your struggle for a change?

I see, carry on along your funway then
I won’t be a bother to your eternal when

I know you want out of this doo
I know a good place we can go to

Play a jump game of realms with me you sad mime
I’ll show you an extremely good untroubled time

Flights above
Crawls below
Brawls to the left
Peace on the right

Poor old brittle realm lady
Crumble to dust cascade-y

Circuses are meant to be mesmerizing – Watch mine

Bird Of Fire

A phoenix birthed from a charred heart
From the skies it flew down to play a part

It tought resilience through its choicest tears
Fanned the flames away off of all your fears

The orange wings spread in distance wide
Embracing the burnt-heart within it’s hyde

A life filled with perpetual neo-negativity
Will once again be cleansed with tenacity

A burning fire within fluctuates between strong and weak
A perseverance keeps resuscitating itself in a life that’s bleak

The Phoenix sheds it’s tears to foster this heart’s raging flame
The rejuvenated soul resumes to take part in your frivolous game

In stillness
In calmness
The heart beats again

The crucible of pain will always forge the strongest soul

The Boy On The Balcony

There always stands a boy on the balcony
The neighborhood frowns upon his nose runny

Averting their superficial fickle gaze away from him
There is no bestowed benevolence upon his sordid hymn

A mind and body they thought to be aligned in spirit and smoke
A perception they drew amongst themselves upon this misfit bloke

Is it a paranoia or is it disdainful belief
That forces this abandoned child to pursue relief?

Awaiting the arrival of his loving spared father
With the absence of his ever ignorant mother

A family that’s divided surely will not stand
All attachments erased, all previous emotions the boy canned

There is but a brother this boy cares for
Even though the child is lost in his own painful hour

In bright colors and hues the boy finds a constant
Fading in and out of his life so very reluctant

Friends amassed through masked smiles and laughs
Breathless the choking boy on the balcony coughs

But still hopeful and optimistic is the boy about his life ahead
To be able to live his days with no strife and no dread

For the rest of his life cared for by an imaginary friend
Abandoned and alone he knows his life will one day end

Multiple drunken stupors
Fuck your shit bloopers

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

What A Life

What a life it’s been
Inner conflict unseen

Someone who’s family once put my head between her legs for a fix
A sexual awakening, adulthood premature, innocence lost at age six

Soul trembling now all gone
Acceptance gained forlorn

Ignorant envy at times from beings encountered
A stonelike perseverance, I have never since faltered

Overrated sexless orgies most you beings partake, proudly civilized
I am but a being who’s a complete Dionysian, through rhymes refined

Until the day comes when I fully realize my now within reach dreams
I am destined to drift endlessly through weird unknown streams

Egomaniacal tits, balls, cunts and cocks of our piss-poor disdainful world
No longer triggered by this, into debauchery you’re all apathetically hurled

“Confront your fears and tears and live your true dreams” – Some late night distant voice whispered to me

A heart and soul firmly placed between dream and reality
Don’t you dare kiss my ass with your superficiality

What a life it’s been and what a life it’s maybe going to be
I’m fully aware of the shit you talk about the life lived by me

The fabric of life keeps tearing at it’s seams
I hold it all together with my childlike dreams

My causality, my quality, my divinity, my presence – all of them one of a kind
A recently attained inner peace within my ruptured mind will you now find

I now welcome you to my nonchalant scene
A misfit in your society, what a life it’s been

I now proclaim –
“Burn your socially acceptable masks”

Perpetually bored – Intellectually
Razel seeks me continuously

Fuck me – Gently, Metaphorically
Entertain me – With innocence, Blissfully