Creature In The Courtyard

First attempt at animation and script writing 🙂 

Advertisements

Weather Report

Pretense

Intense

Today’s weather report

The barricades deport

In Celsius a hundred degrees

A predestined summit varies

Much cloudy they say

Unhidden is still the way

A relentless rain pouring

An unhinged mind soaring

A cool bright light, swaying snowfall

Experiences cause not our downfall

Rivers and oceans, a constant tide

A visual intake, our hearts open wide

Pretense

Intense

Today’s weather report

Inner barricades deport

Triggers

Memories

Like a shotgun to the head

Downwards

Into an abyss so dead

Spiralling

Out of control in pain

Trapped

In a perpetual rain

Triggers

Parasitic claws from the past

Caught

Within a mind now aghast

Shining

Glowing dark and distant

Awaiting

A state of stillness constant

Muddied

The pathless way ahead

Bloodied

So soulless and dead

Time

Pacing forth quickly

Life

Terminated so sickly

Perception

Pure deception

Illusions

Always

Now and forever

Till the end

Child Of Pain

Mistress Death and Father Life

In tales as old as time itself 

It is said that ever so often 

These beings of emotion give birth to a child 

A child of Pain

A Prince of Pain 

The Prince of Pain 

Mistress Death’s Herald, the black-clad 

Reaper with a scythe on Pain’s left,

And Father Life’s bright white light 

On his right

The young child experiences both

Life and Death simultaneously

With the being on his left

Waiting to bestow upon him

The final kiss of death

A final kiss 
The final kiss

And the light on his right

Asking him to
-Persevere!

-Complete!

The task

That was once given to him

A child who feels

Both Death and Life

A child who floats

Perpetually caught in the throes of duality

The Other Me

​Today I decided to kill the other me. It hurts. The other me is the real me. I sometimes think to myself – How many of me reside within this one existence? The answer comes easily enough. There are two distinct me’s inside of me. One, my true self. Childlike, naive and innocent. A 6 year old kid with dreams of changing the world for the better. A kid who never grew up.Refusing stubbornly to not let himself get corrupted by the ways of this world and the people it hosts.

The second one, an image I’ve developed for myself over the past year and a half to help give some amount of truth to the people who’ve spoken ill about me without knowing me at all. It’s easier to build a bad reputation for myself and live upto the title of -an alcoholic, an addict and the worst human being on this planet. I realized my true self has no place in a world such as this. 

I sometimes wish that I wasn’t existing in the first place. Then I wouldn’t feel this endless pain. “Nice guys always finish last” – There is a certain amount of truth to that saying. Being my true self has yielded nothing but pain and misery for me. I just got spit on, stepped on, pissed on, fucked with and pointed at and judged by people who don’t even know me. I need to kill my true self for I fear that if I don’t, my whole life will just be a free fall into a bottomless pit. An endless fall into the arms of sorrow and sadness. An embrace towards constant depression. Things I want to really say to a person I love and value usually get lost in transition. I need my fake facade to survive. I need my addictions to keep myself numb, sane and painless. But, if I kill my true self, then my whole life from this point on will just be a lie. Is it worth it? Is the constant pain going to end when I do this? Or will it just amplify my negative emotions to new heights? What sort of a life is this going to yield for me? A quicker pace towards death is the answer. And that I feel, is fine with me.

I’ve killed my true self today. I’ve silenced the kid with the raw innocent emotions. The kid who wants to change the world. And the way forward from here on will just be a fake facade in an empty vessel. Hoping for peace in death and dredging through this life one day at a time. Listening to the instincts of my true self only when i’m vulnerable and it is absolutely crucial.

Tell me now, my dearest and oldest friends Pain and Death, when will you set me free from your tortured realm? 

When will you let this little kid be?

Naked Mind

​My first book ‘Naked Mind’ is now available via Amazon Kindle! 🙂
Follow the link to buy the digital version – 

The far more aesthetic paperbacks will be made available in a few months!
Seven years of writing, four years of taking it seriously and trying finish the book, one year of losing all hope and giving up on it only to be led back into writing two years ago by a good friend of mine. The path has been long.
This book is dedicated to a mentor, a close friend and a rock ‘n roll elder brother figure of mine who ceased to be one among the living four years ago. How I wish I could’ve taken the time to notice what he was going through and help him out of his misery instead of being too power-drunk with the local fame I was gaining as a musician at the time. Having noticed that something was amiss all too late, there’s not a single day that goes by where I wish I could turn back time and help him out of his addiction and change things. In one of our final conversations the young man told me that my mind had the potential to change the way people perceived everything around them, said I had a mind capable of changing the world for the better through my music and writing.
This book is also dedicated to my late pup Leo who was taken away from us all too soon in a freak accident. Those harrowing years would have been tough to bear without his presence.
Having finished my first book now, it’s time to start working on my first album as a solo guitarist through Bright. A release for a single has been planned out, following which the shooting for my first official music video will commence. No rest for the living! After all, there once lived a soul who believed that I could change the world. I can rest when I’m dead! Thank you for your time!Have a great day! 🙂
“I have drunk the yearning,

Swallowed the flame in full,

And now I will bend the skies to my will.
Two eternities can never be so far apart,

That I could not bridge them together” – Revelation, Niilo Sevänen