Will I Ever?

Will I ever truly go
To the far East to grow?

In mind, in body, in spirit
I wish to nullify this life’s defecit

Living with a silent scorn
All efforts vain and torn

Endless ridiculing
Suffocation stifling

Oh my illuminary friend
Please help me see this end

Will I ever truly go
To the far East to grow?

Stagnating within a stagnant pause

Circus of Realms

Hey! You there with the mask & cloak! You right there!
I see you’re going somewhere, may I ask you where?

To a goal fueled by ambition? You don’t say
Why? What’s wrong with your current stay?

The lights are getting dim, you’re stuck in a loop
And you’re unable to stimulate your mind in it’s coop?

Is it really all that bad a thing though?
To feed the machine and earn your dough?

It is you say? How very very strange
And that justifies your struggle for a change?

I see, carry on along your funway then
I won’t be a bother to your eternal when

I know you want out of this doo
I know a good place we can go to

Play a jump game of realms with me you sad mime
I’ll show you an extremely good untroubled time

Flights above
Crawls below
Brawls to the left
Peace on the right

Poor old brittle realm lady
Crumble to dust cascade-y

Circuses are meant to be mesmerizing – Watch mine

Bird Of Fire

A phoenix birthed from a charred heart
From the skies it flew down to play a part

It tought resilience through its choicest tears
Fanned the flames away off of all your fears

The orange wings spread in distance wide
Embracing the burnt-heart within it’s hyde

A life filled with perpetual neo-negativity
Will once again be cleansed with tenacity

A burning fire within fluctuates between strong and weak
A perseverance keeps resuscitating itself in a life that’s bleak

The Phoenix sheds it’s tears to foster this heart’s raging flame
The rejuvenated soul resumes to take part in your frivolous game

In stillness
In calmness
The heart beats again

The crucible of pain will always forge the strongest soul

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

Dreams Of Death

Reality please take away my last breath,
Nurture it’s dreams,it’s dreams of death

Horrors in my mind,they haunt me,
Unmatched is my insanity,it taunts me

Do I live till I feel my life fullfilling?
Or do I yield to Death’s peaceful calling?

Weightless is my mind,uncontrolled are my thoughts,
Heavy and torn is my heart,fragmented are all its parts

Every night I slip into my dreams,my dreams of death,
Alone in my mind, I’ve come to lose all my faith

All night I walk alone down this empty winding path,
Searching for the right place to plant my weathered epitaph

Forever following an ever shining bright light,
Forever escaping insanity’s dark and bitter might

Far too long have I waited in this world of mine,
For Death to fly by and make this pain fine

As I sit in my world on this crumbled throne of mine,
I look around and see the beauty of my own shattered mind

Enormous flames and rigid snow storms side by side,
Darkness looms over my land with it’s unparalleled pride

The ground is barren,cracked and broken,
No other souls are present here,no words are ever spoken

Dead and wilted trees adorn my mind’s beautiful landscape,
No…no way out of this place,there is no known escape

Washed and rained is this beautiful,majestic place,
With the lines of the years gone by on my face

Mighty,unheralded rainbow cosmic colours flood my own mind’s land,
The cause in it’s creation has been the absence of your worlds divine hand

Majestic is my wrecked mind,
Come into it and you will find,
Nothing but death,pain and misery,
My tired eyes burning with a detached  fury

Eventually,everything will turn black,
Time will take it’s toll and bend my back

As I plunge down deeper into my dreams,my dreams of death,
I smile as I finally take in one final breath,my final breath