It’s not enough, it never is

Pain, like a stabwound to your soul
Leaving us all perpetually unwhole

Burnt to a crisp and left forever dead
We all live our lives with hidden dread

I have always wanted to forget
27 years of my life…with no regret

They say time is a healer
I’d say time is more a killer
(Who are ‘they’ anyway?)

In an existence as unforgiving as ours…wait, then what?
We force ourselves to live without any empathetical thought?

I think not.

I truly believe that at heart we are all sensitive and compassionate beings,
Forced to exist in a world unkind, with lives led through our own hostilities

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

The answer that we all unanimously eventually arrive & get at
Is a soul cancer, now take this on your back. A heartfelt ‘keep-at- it’ pat

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

This shit’s not rhyming as clean as my usual wordsmith mouth can
But, what the actual fuck? Our superficial world is an emotional-ban

Attachments and families?
Unnecessary fallacies

LoL LoL
LoL LoL
Fuck you
Fuck me

Go ahead…hide the pain inside
Breathe the life of life
Go ahead…hate what you’ve become now
Intoxicated with the death of Death

Hope and Death
Cope and End

Hold me down now
With your face in a frown

But do let me go
While I try to find a home

Have I helped you now?
I don’t know

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

It’s not enough…It never is
But, I want to get there first

I will be the One
I’ll die for anyone
What have I become?

Medicate, medicate
Medicate, medicate

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

Vacuum Living

Pointless

Futile

Vain

Insane

Fragile

Frail

Sorrow

Prevails

Empty, vacant

Soulless shell

Very much alive

In this deep wicked hell

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

Slaughter

In a war torn life

We’re all alone

Pain and sorrow

Is all we’ve ever known
So we grabbed a knife

To get it done

They promised us

That it’d be fun
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?
We were asked to go with non-partial fists

To be devoid and feel nothing like nihilist

To break all our bonds and forget our pain

To wash ourselves in an endless bloodied rain
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we still go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?

Triggers

Memories

Like a shotgun to the head

Downwards

Into an abyss so dead

Spiralling

Out of control in pain

Trapped

In a perpetual rain

Triggers

Parasitic claws from the past

Caught

Within a mind now aghast

Shining

Glowing dark and distant

Awaiting

A state of stillness constant

Muddied

The pathless way ahead

Bloodied

So soulless and dead

Time

Pacing forth quickly

Life

Terminated so sickly

Perception

Pure deception

Illusions

Always

Now and forever

Till the end

Child Of Pain

Mistress Death and Father Life

In tales as old as time itself 

It is said that ever so often 

These beings of emotion give birth to a child 

A child of Pain

A Prince of Pain 

The Prince of Pain 

Mistress Death’s Herald, the black-clad 

Reaper with a scythe on Pain’s left,

And Father Life’s bright white light 

On his right

The young child experiences both

Life and Death simultaneously

With the being on his left

Waiting to bestow upon him

The final kiss of death

A final kiss 
The final kiss

And the light on his right

Asking him to
-Persevere!

-Complete!

The task

That was once given to him

A child who feels

Both Death and Life

A child who floats

Perpetually caught in the throes of duality

Naked Mind

​My first book ‘Naked Mind’ is now available via Amazon Kindle! 🙂
Follow the link to buy the digital version – 

The far more aesthetic paperbacks will be made available in a few months!
Seven years of writing, four years of taking it seriously and trying finish the book, one year of losing all hope and giving up on it only to be led back into writing two years ago by a good friend of mine. The path has been long.
This book is dedicated to a mentor, a close friend and a rock ‘n roll elder brother figure of mine who ceased to be one among the living four years ago. How I wish I could’ve taken the time to notice what he was going through and help him out of his misery instead of being too power-drunk with the local fame I was gaining as a musician at the time. Having noticed that something was amiss all too late, there’s not a single day that goes by where I wish I could turn back time and help him out of his addiction and change things. In one of our final conversations the young man told me that my mind had the potential to change the way people perceived everything around them, said I had a mind capable of changing the world for the better through my music and writing.
This book is also dedicated to my late pup Leo who was taken away from us all too soon in a freak accident. Those harrowing years would have been tough to bear without his presence.
Having finished my first book now, it’s time to start working on my first album as a solo guitarist through Bright. A release for a single has been planned out, following which the shooting for my first official music video will commence. No rest for the living! After all, there once lived a soul who believed that I could change the world. I can rest when I’m dead! Thank you for your time!Have a great day! 🙂
“I have drunk the yearning,

Swallowed the flame in full,

And now I will bend the skies to my will.
Two eternities can never be so far apart,

That I could not bridge them together” – Revelation, Niilo Sevänen

Upon My Shoulders

I dream of ghosts

Long dead and gone

Souls released

Into death forlorn

I hear voices

Whispering of a mystery

Unseen and lifeless

From my life’s unsung history

Spirits of the past bright

Fly above me all the time

Making me write

Sad songs with a melancholic rhyme

They ask me to sway

This way and that

Forget your pain

And embrace Death

A life less lived

Trapped in a cage of guilt

A lifeless one lived

Upon a throne of shame built

Surrender to us

These distant voices say

Be with us in peace

And in silence hold sway

At Long Last…A Way Out

​Dated – Feb 18th 2017
When we experience things and grow up,

And have had our fill from Life’s cup
At long last we are offered a way out,

An infinite one-way road without a doubt
Some of us who are tired choose the way out earlier,

Without giving second chances to make things clearer
And what is the importance of second chances?

I believe it’s a peek into Existence’s smaller nuances
Small things become important as we reach our final destination,

All the things that we worked for, a verdict for our final reputation
In the end some might ask – “Do we even matter?”

“Yes” – Say the one’s who’ve never dared to falter
Living in fear of what our way out might be like,

Only makes our present suffer, skewered on a spike
What fears lay within us all on this quest called Life?

What trials must we go through to cease our inner strife?
And what if existence were to be forever?

Would we still drown ourselves in greedy endeavours?
A way out from this perceptive plane,

Is what some amongst us would call a bane
A way out from this mundane plane,

Is what some would call a non-negotiable gain
As true and sure as the chronicle of Time,

We grew accustomed to ignore our World’s Rhyme
We are scared, curbing our will to live fully,

Instead we dwell deliriously in each other’s folly
A second thought about our ephemeral existence,

Should continue to imbue us with Hope and Persistence
Our curiosity for the After-life results in a rift between us,

Causing conflict tearing the world apart for the children amongst us
Do you ever wonder why we find it so hard,

To enjoy the Song of One from a truthful Bard?
Shouldn’t the truth about our short time here,

Teach us to live as one and together persevere?
At long last, for a moment we seem to have found our way out,

In Death, the only destiny all of us share without a doubt

Fateless

​An innocent child

Corrupted

At such a tender age

An innocent babe

Caught

In the throes of duality

Innocence is lost

In the spirit of

The chase

Infants bleed

Hung upside down

Punished for their curiosity

Wailing

In the distance

A once monotone voice

Now responds

Touched by the hand of sanity

A divinity lost in insanity

Vibrant minds

Within us all

Ancient memories

Relive these lives

Mind’s they scream

Intertwining in ecstasy

On the helm of

A black Raven’s claws
Which once tore at their minds

Innocent souls

Once Corrupted

Still persevere

Still exist

But over-judged

And misunderstood

Sometimes

Sometimes I wake up,

Caught in the delusions of a distant dream

Sometimes I wake up ,

Trying to comprehend why I scream

Other times I am asleep,

Conversing with my dear friend’s Pain and Death

Other times I am asleep,

Choking on my past and gasping for a hopeful breath

Sometimes I wake up,

And look at my vacant face in the mirror

Sometimes I wake up,

And wear a mask to hide my grief and horror

Other times I am asleep,

Looking at this painful life in endless wonder

Other times I am asleep,

Thinking –  Just what was it that tore this life asunder?

Sometimes I wake up,

And I find myself searching for a cure

Sometimes I wake up,

Trying to heal the pain inside and avoid Death’s allure

Other times I am asleep,

Hoping that this would morph into an Endless Sleep

Other times I am asleep,

Both Void and Devoid in Death’s fabled sacred keep

Sometimes I wake up,

Thinking – I should accuse you for my Soul’s theft

Sometimes I wake up,

Crying – Just why was it that you left?

Dead Inside

​So much more to live for,

So much more to hope for,

So much left to cry for,

So much left to die for

This world that I force myself into,

Of which I am a part,

Refuses to entertain the thoughts,

That tear me apart

Cold outside,

Dead Inside

Answer me my friend,

When will I see my end?

How?When?Why? Now?Soon?Later?

A drama for all to see in a theatre?

Pointless living day in and day out,

I stare at you, scream and shout

Cold soul forever monotone and alone,

Staring at you all, unreacting like a stone

Answer me my friend,

When will I see my end?

The world is so cold outside,

I stare at it, dead inside

Seven Coffins

“Hello. I’ll have the usual Death”

“Hello Pain. How many more times are you going to keep coming back?”

“I’ll keep coming back I guess. Now,then. I’ll have my usual.Please give me one Last Breath”

Take a walk with the Light,

Your mind just might…

See the light show you things beyond,

Your eyes slowly start perceiving and correspond…

Crumble…oh humble Light,

Please cry and die bright

Give birth to Seven of them,

Get a little closer to Life’s helm

Understand all Seven are deathbeds,

Vibrant coffins for evolved heads

Our mind’s converge into one,

The Vibrant, they feed us Fun

Meet your new friend,

Meet your unknown end

Await for Perception into…

Away from Light into…

Awake from Life into…

Into what?

Seven become One,

Dark is the new Sun…

(Or was it Son?)

“Hello again Death!

I’ll have my usual please, one Last Breath”

Dreams Of Death

Reality please take away my last breath,
Nurture it’s dreams,it’s dreams of death

Horrors in my mind,they haunt me,
Unmatched is my insanity,it taunts me

Do I live till I feel my life fullfilling?
Or do I yield to Death’s peaceful calling?

Weightless is my mind,uncontrolled are my thoughts,
Heavy and torn is my heart,fragmented are all its parts

Every night I slip into my dreams,my dreams of death,
Alone in my mind, I’ve come to lose all my faith

All night I walk alone down this empty winding path,
Searching for the right place to plant my weathered epitaph

Forever following an ever shining bright light,
Forever escaping insanity’s dark and bitter might

Far too long have I waited in this world of mine,
For Death to fly by and make this pain fine

As I sit in my world on this crumbled throne of mine,
I look around and see the beauty of my own shattered mind

Enormous flames and rigid snow storms side by side,
Darkness looms over my land with it’s unparalleled pride

The ground is barren,cracked and broken,
No other souls are present here,no words are ever spoken

Dead and wilted trees adorn my mind’s beautiful landscape,
No…no way out of this place,there is no known escape

Washed and rained is this beautiful,majestic place,
With the lines of the years gone by on my face

Mighty,unheralded rainbow cosmic colours flood my own mind’s land,
The cause in it’s creation has been the absence of your worlds divine hand

Majestic is my wrecked mind,
Come into it and you will find,
Nothing but death,pain and misery,
My tired eyes burning with a detached  fury

Eventually,everything will turn black,
Time will take it’s toll and bend my back

As I plunge down deeper into my dreams,my dreams of death,
I smile as I finally take in one final breath,my final breath

Be Sorrow

Be Sorrow,
Go tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Feel hollow

Hurt for all eternity,
Bleed for your dignity

Perish into dust,
Be one with rust,
Crumble your soul’s crust,
In others a mistake it was to trust

Cry for a simple life,
Cease the inner strife

No more looking, no more searching,
Try to be happy,cauterize you’re bleeding

Be Sorrow,
Fly tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Die hollow

Be patient for another day,
Eitherway with life we all shall pay

For all the hate, guilt and pain,
Unthink for today, tomorrow try again

Stay for a moment more,
Extend your tale and lore

Be Sorrow,
Go tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Fly tomorrow