Sweet Embrace

Welcome to this long night
Of another eternal flight

The time has come again to renew my deals
With the beings behind their sacred seals

A cool croon without a frown
An escape from the path down

Enter into the realm of words & pacts
Broken & derailed from its set tracks

Glazed screens offer choices of vibrance
A lure for the abandonment of an alliance

Everything now seems to have been a lie
These cauterized feelings now begin to dry

There are no meanings to any attachments
When weak resolves result in detachments

The now forgotten surreal sweet embrace
Flees far away again from a fall from grace

The fabric net holding me
Is now torn and altered

Must I severe the fabric net holding me
For my journey to the unknown as a fee?

For months it’s certainty is amiss
I climb myself out now of this abyss

Descend, descending, descent
Deeper down must I be sent?

Ascend, ascending, ascent
Or higher up must I be sent?

I will be there one day
I will be there one day
Just not today
Just not today

Attachment issues were heightened to new peaks in May of 2018
Though life had been spiralling out of control since November of 2017

How much can a human being change in the span of two and a half years?
From being kind & caring to reckless & back, I’ll tell you now – Lend me your ears

But first you must learn how to always plaster a smile
On your face if you really wish to go through this long mile

Perpetually mentally drained and emotionally exhausted
All of this life’s decline & hurdles I’ve now thwarted

I bid farewell to this baggage
An overburdened luggage

Through the conscious unsealing & dissection of my feelings
I began the time consuming process of multiple wound healings

With my poem ‘What A Life’, I learnt to accept & let go
Alone, this mind of mine was rewired a few months ago

Have I handled it all well?
I don’t think I can really tell

You see, I don’t think I can ever really burnout
For I’ll always be on fire until the day I’m out

Curiosity seeps into me for I have already sold my soul
I ponder what to trade now as I am already unwhole

Alone I now wait once again at the Seeker’s crossroads
To renew my contract with the gods, demons and their hordes

Whatever comes my way
Whatever comes my way
Clear now is the futureway
Clear now is the futureway

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly