Sweet Embrace

Welcome to this long night
Of another eternal flight

The time has come again to renew my deals
With the beings behind their sacred seals

A cool croon without a frown
An escape from the path down

Enter into the realm of words & pacts
Broken & derailed from its set tracks

Glazed screens offer choices of vibrance
A lure for the abandonment of an alliance

Everything now seems to have been a lie
These cauterized feelings now begin to dry

There are no meanings to any attachments
When weak resolves result in detachments

The now forgotten surreal sweet embrace
Flees far away again from a fall from grace

The fabric net holding me
Is now torn and altered

Must I severe the fabric net holding me
For my journey to the unknown as a fee?

For months it’s certainty is amiss
I climb myself out now of this abyss

Descend, descending, descent
Deeper down must I be sent?

Ascend, ascending, ascent
Or higher up must I be sent?

I will be there one day
I will be there one day
Just not today
Just not today

Attachment issues were heightened to new peaks in May of 2018
Though life had been spiralling out of control since November of 2017

How much can a human being change in the span of two and a half years?
From being kind & caring to reckless & back, I’ll tell you now – Lend me your ears

But first you must learn how to always plaster a smile
On your face if you really wish to go through this long mile

Perpetually mentally drained and emotionally exhausted
All of this life’s decline & hurdles I’ve now thwarted

I bid farewell to this baggage
An overburdened luggage

Through the conscious unsealing & dissection of my feelings
I began the time consuming process of multiple wound healings

With my poem ‘What A Life’, I learnt to accept & let go
Alone, this mind of mine was rewired a few months ago

Have I handled it all well?
I don’t think I can really tell

You see, I don’t think I can ever really burnout
For I’ll always be on fire until the day I’m out

Curiosity seeps into me for I have already sold my soul
I ponder what to trade now as I am already unwhole

Alone I now wait once again at the Seeker’s crossroads
To renew my contract with the gods, demons and their hordes

Whatever comes my way
Whatever comes my way
Clear now is the futureway
Clear now is the futureway

It’s not enough, it never is

Pain, like a stabwound to your soul
Leaving us all perpetually unwhole

Burnt to a crisp and left forever dead
We all live our lives with hidden dread

I have always wanted to forget
27 years of my life…with no regret

They say time is a healer
I’d say time is more a killer
(Who are ‘they’ anyway?)

In an existence as unforgiving as ours…wait, then what?
We force ourselves to live without any empathetical thought?

I think not.

I truly believe that at heart we are all sensitive and compassionate beings,
Forced to exist in a world unkind, with lives led through our own hostilities

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

The answer that we all unanimously eventually arrive & get at
Is a soul cancer, now take this on your back. A heartfelt ‘keep-at- it’ pat

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

This shit’s not rhyming as clean as my usual wordsmith mouth can
But, what the actual fuck? Our superficial world is an emotional-ban

Attachments and families?
Unnecessary fallacies

LoL LoL
LoL LoL
Fuck you
Fuck me

Go ahead…hide the pain inside
Breathe the life of life
Go ahead…hate what you’ve become now
Intoxicated with the death of Death

Hope and Death
Cope and End

Hold me down now
With your face in a frown

But do let me go
While I try to find a home

Have I helped you now?
I don’t know

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

It’s not enough…It never is
But, I want to get there first

I will be the One
I’ll die for anyone
What have I become?

Medicate, medicate
Medicate, medicate

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

The Rising

I had travelled afar,

Slept under many a star

Through mountains, dungeons and caves,

Freeing dozens of tortured slaves

A true harbinger of peace,

Over all I shall have ruled with ease

In many a battle I had slaughtered and maimed,

For my just brutality over hills I am famed

All who would anger and oppose me,

By the tip of my blade would be set free

Such was my repertoire beyond countless days and starry nights,

Famed as a god I was, fabled and mythical were all my fights

But, today in this world of netherworldly rainbowed colours,

My soul paces with unease, twitching with feral fervours

For what I found in this world upon my arriving,

Intense and surreal was the rising

Vacuum Living

Pointless

Futile

Vain

Insane

Fragile

Frail

Sorrow

Prevails

Empty, vacant

Soulless shell

Very much alive

In this deep wicked hell

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

Vacant Eyes

What do you see when you look into our eyes?

Do you realize we see all the pain, deception and lies?

Our vacant gaze burns into your mind

Only sorrow and pain in it will you find

I see us all falling and calling

Out to something in essence enthralling

Nihility they say is a lost cause

We always have time to pause

Vacant eyes all around succumbing

Forced into a world unbecoming

We walk together all alone

Seeking our own preserved throne

Rightful heirs apparently entitled to it

Just too blind to see or feel it

Have we fallen so far across time and space

That we plaster a smile across on our blank face?

Like snowfall we softly descend

Vacant minds allowing minds to ascend

What do you see when you look into my eyes?

Do you see what I see? It’s all lies, lies and lies

Slaughter

In a war torn life

We’re all alone

Pain and sorrow

Is all we’ve ever known
So we grabbed a knife

To get it done

They promised us

That it’d be fun
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?
We were asked to go with non-partial fists

To be devoid and feel nothing like nihilist

To break all our bonds and forget our pain

To wash ourselves in an endless bloodied rain
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we still go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?

Child Of Pain

Mistress Death and Father Life

In tales as old as time itself 

It is said that ever so often 

These beings of emotion give birth to a child 

A child of Pain

A Prince of Pain 

The Prince of Pain 

Mistress Death’s Herald, the black-clad 

Reaper with a scythe on Pain’s left,

And Father Life’s bright white light 

On his right

The young child experiences both

Life and Death simultaneously

With the being on his left

Waiting to bestow upon him

The final kiss of death

A final kiss 
The final kiss

And the light on his right

Asking him to
-Persevere!

-Complete!

The task

That was once given to him

A child who feels

Both Death and Life

A child who floats

Perpetually caught in the throes of duality

Sometimes

Sometimes I wake up,

Caught in the delusions of a distant dream

Sometimes I wake up ,

Trying to comprehend why I scream

Other times I am asleep,

Conversing with my dear friend’s Pain and Death

Other times I am asleep,

Choking on my past and gasping for a hopeful breath

Sometimes I wake up,

And look at my vacant face in the mirror

Sometimes I wake up,

And wear a mask to hide my grief and horror

Other times I am asleep,

Looking at this painful life in endless wonder

Other times I am asleep,

Thinking –  Just what was it that tore this life asunder?

Sometimes I wake up,

And I find myself searching for a cure

Sometimes I wake up,

Trying to heal the pain inside and avoid Death’s allure

Other times I am asleep,

Hoping that this would morph into an Endless Sleep

Other times I am asleep,

Both Void and Devoid in Death’s fabled sacred keep

Sometimes I wake up,

Thinking – I should accuse you for my Soul’s theft

Sometimes I wake up,

Crying – Just why was it that you left?

Dead Inside

​So much more to live for,

So much more to hope for,

So much left to cry for,

So much left to die for

This world that I force myself into,

Of which I am a part,

Refuses to entertain the thoughts,

That tear me apart

Cold outside,

Dead Inside

Answer me my friend,

When will I see my end?

How?When?Why? Now?Soon?Later?

A drama for all to see in a theatre?

Pointless living day in and day out,

I stare at you, scream and shout

Cold soul forever monotone and alone,

Staring at you all, unreacting like a stone

Answer me my friend,

When will I see my end?

The world is so cold outside,

I stare at it, dead inside

Dreams Of Death

Reality please take away my last breath,
Nurture it’s dreams,it’s dreams of death

Horrors in my mind,they haunt me,
Unmatched is my insanity,it taunts me

Do I live till I feel my life fullfilling?
Or do I yield to Death’s peaceful calling?

Weightless is my mind,uncontrolled are my thoughts,
Heavy and torn is my heart,fragmented are all its parts

Every night I slip into my dreams,my dreams of death,
Alone in my mind, I’ve come to lose all my faith

All night I walk alone down this empty winding path,
Searching for the right place to plant my weathered epitaph

Forever following an ever shining bright light,
Forever escaping insanity’s dark and bitter might

Far too long have I waited in this world of mine,
For Death to fly by and make this pain fine

As I sit in my world on this crumbled throne of mine,
I look around and see the beauty of my own shattered mind

Enormous flames and rigid snow storms side by side,
Darkness looms over my land with it’s unparalleled pride

The ground is barren,cracked and broken,
No other souls are present here,no words are ever spoken

Dead and wilted trees adorn my mind’s beautiful landscape,
No…no way out of this place,there is no known escape

Washed and rained is this beautiful,majestic place,
With the lines of the years gone by on my face

Mighty,unheralded rainbow cosmic colours flood my own mind’s land,
The cause in it’s creation has been the absence of your worlds divine hand

Majestic is my wrecked mind,
Come into it and you will find,
Nothing but death,pain and misery,
My tired eyes burning with a detached  fury

Eventually,everything will turn black,
Time will take it’s toll and bend my back

As I plunge down deeper into my dreams,my dreams of death,
I smile as I finally take in one final breath,my final breath

Be Sorrow

Be Sorrow,
Go tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Feel hollow

Hurt for all eternity,
Bleed for your dignity

Perish into dust,
Be one with rust,
Crumble your soul’s crust,
In others a mistake it was to trust

Cry for a simple life,
Cease the inner strife

No more looking, no more searching,
Try to be happy,cauterize you’re bleeding

Be Sorrow,
Fly tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Die hollow

Be patient for another day,
Eitherway with life we all shall pay

For all the hate, guilt and pain,
Unthink for today, tomorrow try again

Stay for a moment more,
Extend your tale and lore

Be Sorrow,
Go tomorrow

Be Sorrow,
Fly tomorrow