Sweet Embrace

Welcome to this long night
Of another eternal flight

The time has come again to renew my deals
With the beings behind their sacred seals

A cool croon without a frown
An escape from the path down

Enter into the realm of words & pacts
Broken & derailed from its set tracks

Glazed screens offer choices of vibrance
A lure for the abandonment of an alliance

Everything now seems to have been a lie
These cauterized feelings now begin to dry

There are no meanings to any attachments
When weak resolves result in detachments

The now forgotten surreal sweet embrace
Flees far away again from a fall from grace

The fabric net holding me
Is now torn and altered

Must I severe the fabric net holding me
For my journey to the unknown as a fee?

For months it’s certainty is amiss
I climb myself out now of this abyss

Descend, descending, descent
Deeper down must I be sent?

Ascend, ascending, ascent
Or higher up must I be sent?

I will be there one day
I will be there one day
Just not today
Just not today

Attachment issues were heightened to new peaks in May of 2018
Though life had been spiralling out of control since November of 2017

How much can a human being change in the span of two and a half years?
From being kind & caring to reckless & back, I’ll tell you now – Lend me your ears

But first you must learn how to always plaster a smile
On your face if you really wish to go through this long mile

Perpetually mentally drained and emotionally exhausted
All of this life’s decline & hurdles I’ve now thwarted

I bid farewell to this baggage
An overburdened luggage

Through the conscious unsealing & dissection of my feelings
I began the time consuming process of multiple wound healings

With my poem ‘What A Life’, I learnt to accept & let go
Alone, this mind of mine was rewired a few months ago

Have I handled it all well?
I don’t think I can really tell

You see, I don’t think I can ever really burnout
For I’ll always be on fire until the day I’m out

Curiosity seeps into me for I have already sold my soul
I ponder what to trade now as I am already unwhole

Alone I now wait once again at the Seeker’s crossroads
To renew my contract with the gods, demons and their hordes

Whatever comes my way
Whatever comes my way
Clear now is the futureway
Clear now is the futureway

The Rising

I had travelled afar,

Slept under many a star

Through mountains, dungeons and caves,

Freeing dozens of tortured slaves

A true harbinger of peace,

Over all I shall have ruled with ease

In many a battle I had slaughtered and maimed,

For my just brutality over hills I am famed

All who would anger and oppose me,

By the tip of my blade would be set free

Such was my repertoire beyond countless days and starry nights,

Famed as a god I was, fabled and mythical were all my fights

But, today in this world of netherworldly rainbowed colours,

My soul paces with unease, twitching with feral fervours

For what I found in this world upon my arriving,

Intense and surreal was the rising

Circus of Realms

Hey! You there with the mask & cloak! You right there!
I see you’re going somewhere, may I ask you where?

To a goal fueled by ambition? You don’t say
Why? What’s wrong with your current stay?

The lights are getting dim, you’re stuck in a loop
And you’re unable to stimulate your mind in it’s coop?

Is it really all that bad a thing though?
To feed the machine and earn your dough?

It is you say? How very very strange
And that justifies your struggle for a change?

I see, carry on along your funway then
I won’t be a bother to your eternal when

I know you want out of this doo
I know a good place we can go to

Play a jump game of realms with me you sad mime
I’ll show you an extremely good untroubled time

Flights above
Crawls below
Brawls to the left
Peace on the right

Poor old brittle realm lady
Crumble to dust cascade-y

Circuses are meant to be mesmerizing – Watch mine

Bird Of Fire

A phoenix birthed from a charred heart
From the skies it flew down to play a part

It tought resilience through its choicest tears
Fanned the flames away off of all your fears

The orange wings spread in distance wide
Embracing the burnt-heart within it’s hyde

A life filled with perpetual neo-negativity
Will once again be cleansed with tenacity

A burning fire within fluctuates between strong and weak
A perseverance keeps resuscitating itself in a life that’s bleak

The Phoenix sheds it’s tears to foster this heart’s raging flame
The rejuvenated soul resumes to take part in your frivolous game

In stillness
In calmness
The heart beats again

The crucible of pain will always forge the strongest soul

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

Weather Report

Pretense

Intense

Today’s weather report

The barricades deport

In Celsius a hundred degrees

A predestined summit varies

Much cloudy they say

Unhidden is still the way

A relentless rain pouring

An unhinged mind soaring

A cool bright light, swaying snowfall

Experiences cause not our downfall

Rivers and oceans, a constant tide

A visual intake, our hearts open wide

Pretense

Intense

Today’s weather report

Inner barricades deport

Dreams Of Death

Reality please take away my last breath,
Nurture it’s dreams,it’s dreams of death

Horrors in my mind,they haunt me,
Unmatched is my insanity,it taunts me

Do I live till I feel my life fullfilling?
Or do I yield to Death’s peaceful calling?

Weightless is my mind,uncontrolled are my thoughts,
Heavy and torn is my heart,fragmented are all its parts

Every night I slip into my dreams,my dreams of death,
Alone in my mind, I’ve come to lose all my faith

All night I walk alone down this empty winding path,
Searching for the right place to plant my weathered epitaph

Forever following an ever shining bright light,
Forever escaping insanity’s dark and bitter might

Far too long have I waited in this world of mine,
For Death to fly by and make this pain fine

As I sit in my world on this crumbled throne of mine,
I look around and see the beauty of my own shattered mind

Enormous flames and rigid snow storms side by side,
Darkness looms over my land with it’s unparalleled pride

The ground is barren,cracked and broken,
No other souls are present here,no words are ever spoken

Dead and wilted trees adorn my mind’s beautiful landscape,
No…no way out of this place,there is no known escape

Washed and rained is this beautiful,majestic place,
With the lines of the years gone by on my face

Mighty,unheralded rainbow cosmic colours flood my own mind’s land,
The cause in it’s creation has been the absence of your worlds divine hand

Majestic is my wrecked mind,
Come into it and you will find,
Nothing but death,pain and misery,
My tired eyes burning with a detached  fury

Eventually,everything will turn black,
Time will take it’s toll and bend my back

As I plunge down deeper into my dreams,my dreams of death,
I smile as I finally take in one final breath,my final breath

I Will Be One

And I rushed into the pale dark room,

Candles were black and lit, melting

Each drop falling with an atomic boom,

Onto the cool gray stone, the wax continued it’s pelting

 

They told me, they had told me!

-“Another is gone!”

-“Who is it this time?”

I asked, panic setting in

-“A frail soul,one too frail to mention”

They replied, emotionless within

 

Sensation!

Libation!

In the name of a thousand gods!

 

Celebration!

Circulation!

Death is only a shade for the mortals!

 

Soul searching,

Demons lurking

 

I look at the body,all raiment in black,

The fabric of life and death in a chaotic crack

And I am surprised to see!

My face plastered where it’s ought to be!

 

 

And then I turned back

and felt my reflection lack,

In the mirror beside

the Reaper’s hide

 

-“Wow!”

I said aloud

-“I’m dead!”

I said aloud

 

And all around me,the new evolved kinds,

They stared at me with their vivid minds

And welcomed me into their blackened slimy visions,

To draw visions into life’s mine and to rejoice in it’s malformed incisions

 

Of babies bathing in soot,comfort in their ember,half-burnt and crisp

Rickets and scurvy,a fine combination, disintegrating into a smoky wisp

At such a tender age they seem so happy unaware,

Look at them smile and laugh, burning away without a care

 

Those fair little creatures know nothing of reality,

Blind still to it’s unjust ways and plain brutality

Eating each others souls and having a hearty time,

Eventually growing up to tune their joy into a painful rhyme

 

I black out this vision before me with the power of the sun,

Visions are for immortals and I will be one