Sweet Embrace

Welcome to this long night
Of another eternal flight

The time has come again to renew my deals
With the beings behind their sacred seals

A cool croon without a frown
An escape from the path down

Enter into the realm of words & pacts
Broken & derailed from its set tracks

Glazed screens offer choices of vibrance
A lure for the abandonment of an alliance

Everything now seems to have been a lie
These cauterized feelings now begin to dry

There are no meanings to any attachments
When weak resolves result in detachments

The now forgotten surreal sweet embrace
Flees far away again from a fall from grace

The fabric net holding me
Is now torn and altered

Must I severe the fabric net holding me
For my journey to the unknown as a fee?

For months it’s certainty is amiss
I climb myself out now of this abyss

Descend, descending, descent
Deeper down must I be sent?

Ascend, ascending, ascent
Or higher up must I be sent?

I will be there one day
I will be there one day
Just not today
Just not today

Attachment issues were heightened to new peaks in May of 2018
Though life had been spiralling out of control since November of 2017

How much can a human being change in the span of two and a half years?
From being kind & caring to reckless & back, I’ll tell you now – Lend me your ears

But first you must learn how to always plaster a smile
On your face if you really wish to go through this long mile

Perpetually mentally drained and emotionally exhausted
All of this life’s decline & hurdles I’ve now thwarted

I bid farewell to this baggage
An overburdened luggage

Through the conscious unsealing & dissection of my feelings
I began the time consuming process of multiple wound healings

With my poem ‘What A Life’, I learnt to accept & let go
Alone, this mind of mine was rewired a few months ago

Have I handled it all well?
I don’t think I can really tell

You see, I don’t think I can ever really burnout
For I’ll always be on fire until the day I’m out

Curiosity seeps into me for I have already sold my soul
I ponder what to trade now as I am already unwhole

Alone I now wait once again at the Seeker’s crossroads
To renew my contract with the gods, demons and their hordes

Whatever comes my way
Whatever comes my way
Clear now is the futureway
Clear now is the futureway

Armed With Words

Words of skill
All truly nill
To feel like you’ve had your fill

Words to kill
Your silly thrill
A pre-planned emotional spill

Mighty this, mighty that
Hoard through gluttony on fat
A cause for your divisive hat

Purge the soul
Purge the whole
Purge the backstabbing mole

Knives in my back
Foresight you lack
Through silence fade to black

Words to be slick
Words to be quick
Attachments resemble a walking stick

Independence
In dependence

It’s not enough, it never is

Pain, like a stabwound to your soul
Leaving us all perpetually unwhole

Burnt to a crisp and left forever dead
We all live our lives with hidden dread

I have always wanted to forget
27 years of my life…with no regret

They say time is a healer
I’d say time is more a killer
(Who are ‘they’ anyway?)

In an existence as unforgiving as ours…wait, then what?
We force ourselves to live without any empathetical thought?

I think not.

I truly believe that at heart we are all sensitive and compassionate beings,
Forced to exist in a world unkind, with lives led through our own hostilities

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

The answer that we all unanimously eventually arrive & get at
Is a soul cancer, now take this on your back. A heartfelt ‘keep-at- it’ pat

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

This shit’s not rhyming as clean as my usual wordsmith mouth can
But, what the actual fuck? Our superficial world is an emotional-ban

Attachments and families?
Unnecessary fallacies

LoL LoL
LoL LoL
Fuck you
Fuck me

Go ahead…hide the pain inside
Breathe the life of life
Go ahead…hate what you’ve become now
Intoxicated with the death of Death

Hope and Death
Cope and End

Hold me down now
With your face in a frown

But do let me go
While I try to find a home

Have I helped you now?
I don’t know

We’ve all got to fight just to make it through
So I say this now – it’s all you, you and you

It’s not enough…It never is
But, I want to get there first

I will be the One
I’ll die for anyone
What have I become?

Medicate, medicate
Medicate, medicate

Your struggles, trials and ascendance?
It’s not enough…it never really is

The Rising

I had travelled afar,

Slept under many a star

Through mountains, dungeons and caves,

Freeing dozens of tortured slaves

A true harbinger of peace,

Over all I shall have ruled with ease

In many a battle I had slaughtered and maimed,

For my just brutality over hills I am famed

All who would anger and oppose me,

By the tip of my blade would be set free

Such was my repertoire beyond countless days and starry nights,

Famed as a god I was, fabled and mythical were all my fights

But, today in this world of netherworldly rainbowed colours,

My soul paces with unease, twitching with feral fervours

For what I found in this world upon my arriving,

Intense and surreal was the rising

Vacuum Living

Pointless

Futile

Vain

Insane

Fragile

Frail

Sorrow

Prevails

Empty, vacant

Soulless shell

Very much alive

In this deep wicked hell

Will I Ever?

Will I ever truly go
To the far East to grow?

In mind, in body, in spirit
I wish to nullify this life’s defecit

Living with a silent scorn
All efforts vain and torn

Endless ridiculing
Suffocation stifling

Oh my illuminary friend
Please help me see this end

Will I ever truly go
To the far East to grow?

Stagnating within a stagnant pause

For Some

For some it comes with perpetual pain
With no sight of hopeful peace or gain

For some it comes with wisdom attained from age
Infinite free smiles before an unmaksed hidden rage

For some it comes with unconditional love
In mute exchanges of the emotional glove

For some it comes with blinding rest and sleep
Of private dreams pandering to the social heap

For some it comes with a six-string bending
Immolated souls in musical notes ascending

For some it comes within illusions of themselves
Narcissistic cries for attention in humanity’s fake encalves

For some it comes naturally
All facets of life faced gladly

For me it comes from my personal secretive yores & folklores
These eyes I’ve been gifted with will always see behind yours

I refuse your excuse

The Single Drink

As I sit alone at dusk and have my first
A black liquid to quench my life’s thirst

I recall an existence filled with nothing but misanthropic void
An incomprehensible scribe to my future husband or bride

Are you now going to get lynched for swinging both ways?
I seem to care eitherway, since existence is a hypocritical haze

Your sexuality has never mattered to my wayward mind for it’s a bore
A formidable intellectual companion is all I have craved for forever more

In a pure relentless pursuit towards a peaceful vision of all my lives
A constant step forward away from all your dripping distrust-laden knives

Dive deep into the first black-red drink of many
A calculative future strategy with dread, uncanny

Behind the first now parched awaits a secondance
Ready to soothe this shoulder of absolute dependence

A welcome calm over the languid flames of my distant detached heart and soul
An Armenian pianist now sings blissfully into the ears of this abandoned black foal

When forever is to be continuous somehow
Eternity is a long time away from until now

As I sit alone late night and down this cure worthy single drink
I teeter and cross the edge of an elusive Niravana’s brink

Tried and pre-tested acceptable methods of being a part
Now prove false under the guidance of your rotten cart

Are you really listening to me my dear loving God
Probably not, you pure imaginary friend of a fraud

I now seek to liberate myself from all your predictable grids
To down this drink and try my best to foresee my life’s skids

As I share bits and pieces from my life’s cup
I keep expecting one of you shits to stand up

Only to be left without any answer
Happiness seems to be life’s cancer

The pursuit of which constantly results in an ever-rain upon your farm
I already know you wish to be set free from all of experience’s harm

Always level with the precious offsprings that you have hurled
Else as misfits they shall wreck havoc upon this superficial world

Await for my shit allegorically misjudged perfect painting – Freely
I now have to leave because I hear the Moonwolf – Seemingly

Negation Of Memories

Whether they be good or bad
Unwillingly driven cold and sad

These thoughts and memories
A misread book of insanities

Same old story, none will ever know
A heart with no summer, only snow

How does it feel to live with a fluctuating mind that’s worse than a chameleon jumping on the vibgyor colors of a rainbow?

Humour

Human beings smile or laugh to escape
From this forecfuly projected landscape

Humour is more often derived from someone else’s pain
A fleeting feeling craved for a selfish emotional gain

Caught in a twisted maze of delusions in a noise so deafening
So easy it is to deny the pain of someone else’s suffering

Humour me, go ahead and try your luck
And see for yourself if I truly give a fuck

Prozac Grin

https://www.instagram.com/p/BeTRNl6je7A/

When

When the still waters

Conspire against the tides

When the snow hustlers

Pause to see epic landslides

When an infinite universe

Rumbles it’s song two-pronged

When the polar converse

Undertakes a silence prolonged

True venture is chaotic

Infinite adventures erotic

A deathly communion orgasmic

Degeneration of the cytoplasmic

A frantic climb done over a dune

Witness a serene vision of Lune

Caught in a search for the elusive Light

The end of the tunnel approaches – Bright

An incredible find

Forever a subdued mind

A voice hoarse from shouting

A rebel seeing and screaming

Slaughter

In a war torn life

We’re all alone

Pain and sorrow

Is all we’ve ever known
So we grabbed a knife

To get it done

They promised us

That it’d be fun
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?
We were asked to go with non-partial fists

To be devoid and feel nothing like nihilist

To break all our bonds and forget our pain

To wash ourselves in an endless bloodied rain
Brother,sister

Mother,father

All of fucking life’s creator

They asked of us to slaughter
Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!

Slaughter!
Why is it that we still go to war?

Is a peaceful reality really so far?